Whenever we feel hurt and deeply affected by a certain circumstance, we do cry and tend to nourish hard feelings to those causing us pain. However, its no different if you are the one to cause pain to another person. They would tell you its ok, but you know well that they are not fine. They are hurting and you can't do anything but to console them and apologize.
Hurting someobody is like when you buy an item with a "Final Sale" mark. You can only exchange the item for something that fits better, or something whole if its defective; but you can never ever return the purchased good to the store.
Saying or doing something that leaves a glitch into one's heart or soul can never be undone. You could cover it up with some consolations or making ups, but it will never be forgotten.
I just had my "Final Sale" with a close friend, and I am deeply affected. I know that friend of mine is not really ok. She's fine, but I know she's not, and I am really saddened by the fact that I cannot revert back what I had saide, because its just necessary. All the while, it suddenly came out of my mouth and I never noticed how fast it all happened.
I was just asking for somebody to pray for my circumstance the other day; God must have answered me quickly. Now I feel relieved, but I am depressed. I don't want to loose another friend because of something like this that should never happen in the first place. Though I know and she assured me that we'll be friends for life even if I caused her many hurts.
However, I feel that God might have put us in a fiery situation so that we would become a wiser person. Because sometimes, I don't want to learn unless I have experienced them. And now I have learned...most importantly these things: to stand up on what I believe, to say the hardest words to say, and to simply care unconditionally.
Today, I blog about it, and I'm a bit relieved, but still I can't help but think about it. If only I could see my friend at this moment and give her a hug so that she'll be comforted.
I could only pray to God to make her stronger and wiser. And promise that I will just be a call away in case she needs me....